Well, we certainly all suspected…
but now it is confirmed. Major media outlet and noted reliable source of breaking news, Weekly World News, has broken the story that Dick Cheney is a Robot. From the same news outlet that claimed that mutant superhero Batboy had captured Saddam Hussein for the US, we learn that Cheney’s designers were “unable to give it emotions and compassion.”
Other highlights of the article include our nickname-happy President’s terms of endearment for the cyborg include “Pinocchio” “Data” and “Mutton Head.” It’s good to be on such good terms with your co-workers, isn’t it?
Questions over Cheney’s legal standing (and whether he can be deemed a “citizen” of the United States) have caused uproar throughout Washington, with many calling for his resignation. Many expect that this will be a major issue in the upcoming Presidential campaign.