KILL ME! KILL ME NOW!
Disclaimer number 1: Not work friendly. There’s going to be strong language. You have been warned.
Disclaimer Number 2: All names have been removed. Most people who read this know what I am talking about, and virtually none of the people I am talking about read this. But I’d prefer this article not be particularly â??Google friendly.â?
<sarcasm>So, this is a week I have long been looking forward to</sarcasm> I actually was looking forward to yesterday, which was the annual â??Get up damned early in the morning, drink beer, play golf, and then go to Rangers opening day extravaganza.â? It was fun. My golf game is amazingly bad, I uttered more f-bombs than I have in the past two weeks, but it was fun anyway. The Rangers, you would think after 21 opening days in their new ballpark, would have it down, but no. Parking was a disaster, concessions were a disaster, incompetence abounded. But it was fun anyway. Weather could not have been better. Didn’t get to my seat until the 4th inning, and the Rangers blew a late lead due to some spectacularly bad pitching. Alfonso Soriano is a true butcher in the field, but it was fun anyway.
But then, Tuesday.
My company has rehired an individual I don’t particularly care for. It’s not that he is a bad guy, he’s not. He’s actually a nice guy. But he is a reminder of one of the most singularly unpleasant periods of my whole life. I would be complete without ever seeing him, his sister, his mother, his father or anyone who shared his name ever again. He causes bad feelings to well up inside me just by appearing in the room. I dislike entire cities(in part) simply because his family lives there. You see this coming, right? You know where this is headed, right? Today was the very first time that both of us have been in the office. Well, he comes up and greets me like â??Mr. Fucking Cheerfulâ? and tries to strike up a conversation. To my credit, I didn’t tell him to bite me, kiss my ass, or any other colorful epithet that ran through my mind. I simply acted busy, answered in noncommittal guttural tones until he left. Mercifully, this did not take long.
Then, of course, I got to spend 4 ours in a meeting room with our new client (who I happen to like personally, by the way) about my favorite subject EVER… Weddings.
Oh yes, I love weddings. I love being in them, I love watching them. I sometimes just go up to the church and crash random weddings because I like them so much.
You believe that, right? Sure you do.
I could not possibly care less. Hell, I didn’t care about MINE, and in hindsight, I probably should have cared even less than I did. I just don’t give a shit about weddings, receptions, dresses, destinations, hotels, ceremonies, tuxedos, flowers, cakes, or any of that other crap that has no bearing whatsoever on whether a marriage will be successful. I do care about alcohol (which I guess could have a negative or positive effect on a marriage), but guess what, we didn’t talk about that.
So, after unsuccessfully searching for some way to kill myself quietly (so as to not disturb the meeting… never say I am not respectful), I was finally released and made it back to my desk. And here I sit, writing this.
The day is only half over. I really, really hope that there’s not another surprise lurking around the corner.
IMPORTANT ADDENDUM Absolutely nothing in the above will keep me from doing a good job for my client. Simply because I am uninterested in the subject matter does not mean that I cannot provide them a sound solution. /jumps off soapbox