Archive for July, 2005

A Series of Statements that Will Mean Absolutely Nothing to Anyone Except the People They are Intended For

Some of these are messages to regular readers, and some are simply messages in a bottle. Maybe they’ll be found someday. If you do understand one of these, and it wasn’t meant for you… be a good sport and keep it to yourself.

  • I understand why you did what you did, even though I didn’t like it. I’d like to hear from you
  • I hope you get feeling better Frankie
  • Yes, yes, yes, I will post a picture of the new dog. When are you coming to Dallas?
  • Mary Travers
  • Keep sending the e-vites, I’ll come sooner or later, I promise
  • OK, maybe you can bring me a little prize
  • What on earth did I do to get on your IM-invisible list?
  • You? What are you doing here? I didn’t know you read this
  • OK, what does Quelque chose a dire mean?
  • Hey, dude… remember to bring my balance kit. And can I have some more light fixtures?
  • All things considered, I don’t want to help you brainstorm about marketing to cruise lines.
  • I’m really, really sorry. I think I will always be. I am glad you seem to have forgiven me. But I am 100% sure it turned out best for you anyway.
  • I enjoyed talking to your mom… sorry I didn’t hear from you
  • I hope New Orleans is still good for you, although I am worried it isn’t
  • How’s Molly?
  • I have no idea why you did what you did. I don’t like being lied to. And I don’t ever care to hear from you again

Love/Hate list

Love

  • The Hi-Lift Jack company, the Callaway Golf company, and any other company that mails me cool stuff for free.
  • The MT-Blacklist plug in, which has a perfect record on my last 20 or so spam attacks (consisting of almost 400 bogus comments)
  • The fact that the aforementioned golf clubs really DID take 10 strokes off my game. I no longer suck, I am merely really, really bad.
  • Ecto

Hate

  • People who leave their hair-trigger car alarms on during fireworks shows should be shot.
  • Slurping, chewing with your mouth open, or just about any other auditory indication that you are eating or drinking.
  • Driving ranges with mats. They make you THINK you are doing better than you really are.
  • Microsoft Word
  • Traffic

I’ll add more as I think of them.