Courtesy of Moebius we have Mac OS X icons of everybody’s favorite Firefly class freighter. Click the image for your very own copy.
No, I don’t know how to make them work on Windows. If you convert them, I’ll post them.
A truly hilarious entry today.
Among the highlights:
Q. Is it legal for the president to ignore the law?
A. Maybe not according to plain ol stupid ol regular law, but we’re at war! You don’t go to war with regular laws, which are made outta red tape and bureaucracy and Neville Chamberlain. You go to war with great big strapping War Laws made outta tanks and cold hard steel and the American Fightin Man and WAR, KABOOOOOOM!
Q. How does a War Bill become a War Law?
A. It all begins with the president, who submits a bill to the president. If a majority of both the president and the president approve the bill, then it passes on to the president, who may veto it or sign it into law. And even then the president can override himself with a two-thirds vote.
Q. Can the president spy on me without a warrant?
A. The president would never, ever spy on you, unless you’re talking to a terrorist or an associate of a terrorist or a suspected associate of a terrorist or a possible suspected relative of a member of an affiliate of a terrorist or someone with a name that’s spelled like a terrorist’s or someone who’s been mistakenly identified as a terrorist by an NSA algorithm.
Q. Is the president above the law?
A. Nobody’s above the law! As commander-in-chief the president just outranks the law.
Well, I finally got around to watching the premiere of season 5 of 24. I was lucky enough to extend the recording one one of my PVRs (yes, I had two recording it, just in case 
) since Fox managed to screw up the timing by cutting it too close behind the Panthers vs. Bears football game. At least they didn’t join it in progress.
My first impression? Well, let’s be clear here… in the battle of ultimate badasses, Jack Bauer would SOOOO kick John Rambo’s ass. Would not even be close. As a matter of fact, I think Jack Bauer would kick Batman’s and Superman’s ass. At the same time. Even if Batman was prepared.
Enough silliness.
Did anyone notice that President Palmer uses a shiny new iMac? The man has taste. At least once he got rid of Sherry he did, at least.
And what is with the new, sexy, Chloe? She always struck me as rather mousy. But not now. Whoa.
So, the the nature of livening things up… here’s a really funny blonde joke.
For visitors:
- Limit your stay to 10 minutes, 20 as an absolute maximum (if the patient is able to sit up, stick to ten if they’re in bed). Seriously. Recovering from a serious illness or surgery is hard work. The person you are going to visit is happy to see you, but they are also tired. How do I know they are tired? Because if they were not tired anymore, they’d be home. You are probably not the only visitor. If a patient who was in a chair asks to move back to the bed, that’s your cue to leave.
- Please do not bring up the â??worst case scenarioâ? that didn’t happen as something to be grateful for. The last thing that the patient (or their family for that matter) wants to hear is how bad things could have been. Be grateful that they are not. Don’t dwell on what might have happened. (I must have seen this violated at least 50 times in the past week. What is with people?!?!) If the only thing you can think of to say is how bad things might have been, or how close the patient was to death, then shut the hell up. No one, trust me on this, NO ONE wants to hear it.
- Don’t pester, annoy, or otherwise harass the patient with stories of your (or your relatives’) ill health or hospital stories. And for goodness sakes, don’t tell us that your Uncle Fred died just down the hall.
- Be careful not to tell a joke or amusing story if it is painful for the patient to laugh. Laughter is not always the best medicine if you’ve had abdominal surgery.
- If the worst were to happen, don’t ever, ever tell any surviving family members that â??things happen for a reason.â? No, they don’t. Sometimes shit just happens.
- Unless this is the patient’s first day of their first stay in a hospital ever, then they have heard whatever joke you are about to make about hospital food. Keep it to yourself.
- Do talk to them about normal things… the same stuff you would talk to them about on any other day… what happened in church on Sunday, what your kids are up to, current events, that you are keeping them in your prayers, etc. Remember the first rule. Keep it to 10 minutes.
- If you are a health care professional, DO NOT start inspecting dressings, incisions, stitches, equipment, or anything that happens to be oozing. The patient, and everyone else in the room, will find it off-putting. If you cannot restrain yourself, go back to work and check on your own patients.
For hospital personnel:
- Oh good grief, if you have three tasks that will require a bedridden patient to move around, especially if they find it painful to do so, do them at one time, not ten minutes apart from each other.
- DO NOT empty the receptacle that the catheter feeds into while the patient is trying to eat. It’ll still be there in 10 minutes. I promise. No one is interested in stealing a jar of urine. Except maybe Michael Irvin.
- Never, ever tell a family member of the patient that a setback is their fault. They are not in any frame of mind to appreciate sarcasm. Violation of this rule should be punished by IMMEDIATE dismissal from your employment. Forever. If, on the other hand, you were not being sarcastic, it should be punishable by death.
Yes, each and every one of these things I have seen happen in a hospital, although not all are references to my Mother’s recent stay.
I reserve the right to edit this post whenever I want. I’ll add things as I think of them.
Yes, my mother is doing much better, thanks for asking.
She is out of the ICU, hopefully to stay, and with any luck will be going home sometime soon.
If I didn’t return your phone call, I apologize, it’s been hectic. Hopefully most who have been calling know to check here.