Aug 1st, 2006
Things that are not punishable by death, but should be
- Throwing a cigarette butt out your automobile’s window. You have an ashtray, why don’t you fucking use it? Oh, I know why… because cigarettes smell like a monkey’s ass, and you don’t want to smell that shit in your car.
- Having a web page with background music.
- Having a web page that makes any sound at all unless I click on something that clearly indicates that it’s going to make noise. (Do you hear me, ESPN? I hate your damn Motion video on your home page.)
- Letting your children run free in a restaurant. If they physically touch any patron, or touch any other patron with food, you should have waived your opportunity for a trial. Instant death.
- Opening your car door into another vehicle in a parking lot.
- Parking so that you take up multiple spaces (bad parking should only be punishable by public caning, death is reserved for the people who do it on purpose)
- Poor spellling and bad grammers. (Yes, that’s a joke)
- Typing â??Uâ? for â??youâ? on a full sized keyboard. I will grant that cell phones are inconvenient enough to type on that this MIGHT be OK. But only in text messages typed on a cell phone.